Laugh of the Day

Quinn's button has been leaking, and then slipping out of her belly. It is a pain to have it slip out, and has caused some stress as it did it at Ron and LaDene's house, and they had to call Dalan to come put it back in. At first, we weren't sure if it was leaking or it Quinn was just pulling it out. It was definitely leaking. We had a new one delivered today. It comes in a whole kit, with supplies for her Mini-One Button (G-tube buttons come in Mini's and Mic-Key's...funny, huh. But that is not the really funny part.). The kit included her new button, some extenders, a syringe, and an "introducer"...or as the packaging explained....


It is probably the fourteen year boy part of me, but I have not stopped laughing since Dalan read it to me!

Facts and Opinions

FACT: Quinn is scheduled to have surgery next Friday to have a g tube placed in her belly. Her oral feeding and weight gain is still lacking, so we need a more long term solution. It is considered an outpatient surgery with an overnight stay.

OPINION: My feelings are mixed. Everything I have read and heard that are after an NG tube (her feeding tube in her nose), a g tube is a walk in the park. However, I am not convinced yet. Also, I have some PTSD type issues about admitting Quinn into the hospital, and getting "stuck." Now, that we have Quinn home, I want to keep her here, and not risk it for anything. Also, the surgery "should" help with her feeding, and "should" help with her weight gain, but not guarantees. I would feel better if I knew for sure this was a going to make things better. The whole thing stresses me out.

FACT: Dalan is still feeling yucky. He had an ultrasound two weeks ago, and they did not see gallstones, however, his doctor is not ruling a problem with his gallbladder out yet, and he goes in for more testing at the end of the month.

OPINION: I feel bad for him. Who wants to feel sick all the time? The thought of Quinn having surgery, and then Dalan having surgery is a bit overwhelming.

FACT: I have not really done anything fun or left the house for anything other than the hospital, errands, and work in over ten months, with a handful of exceptions. (Two plays and a few family get togethers.)

OPINION: It sucks. I have gone stir crazy. I can't wait for the end of the cold and flu season, and getting to rejoin the living again. I am grateful Quinn has stayed so healthy although, so it does make it worth it. I am just ready for it to end.

FACT: My house is a disgusting mess.

OPINION: I am tired all the time. I get off work, eat dinner, play with Quinn, put Quinn to bed, wash bottles and dishes, get bottles ready for the next day, straighten up, shower, and I am done. I have no energy to keep up with anything beyond very basic housecleaning. My house is now driving me crazy, and adding to my feelings of being overwhelmed.

Thumb

Over the weekend, I cut my thumb while trying to peel a yam for Quinn. There was an even part on the yam that I could not get to with the peeler, so I pulled out a knife to get the job. In fact, it was our "mystery murder" knife that recently fell out of our couch, even though we had never seen it before. Scary. Anyway, then the baby started to fuss, so I was rushing and totally sliced my thumb. It bled pretty badly, but slowed down eventually. About an hour later, I was defrosting some milk for Quinn in the microwave, so I could add the formula and have a batch for the day. When I went to get it out of the microwave, it totally exploded all over my hands. I cried and cried. It hurt so badly. I ran them under cool water, but it pretty much took all day until may hands started to feel better. Luckily, they never blistered.

The next day, my thumb was still bleeding on and off, so I came up the the "brilliant" idea of Super Gluing the wound together. After Quinn went to bed, I showered, and started my surgery. Well, the Super Glue went all over my thumb, but I still decided to use my other fingers to press it closed. And proceeded to glue my fingers to my thumb. I then pulled my fingers off my thumb, ripped the wound open further, and blood was everywhere. I spent the next couple of hours, trying to contain the bleeding, and get the Super Glue off my other fingers. I could not get it off my injured thumb until the next day due to the excessive bleeding.

Ali suggested that I used tape to close the cut, rather than a Band Aid, and that is working nicely. I think it is finally starting to heal, although it still has not closed up all the way. I probably should have gotten stitches, but alas, I did not. I at least should have contacted one of the many nurses I am friends with before embarking on my Super Glue experience.

(thumb, right before the Super Glue incident)

(thumb, taped up Monday night)

(thumb, last night)

You know your baby is a preemie when....

....some of her favorite playthings are the cords from her monitor and the tubing from her oxygen cannula.

Why I teach....

I am going back to work next week. This is going to shake, rattle, and rock my whole world, and I am dreading every minute of it. I can't imagine not being able to visit the wee babe all day, everyday and being a big part of her treatment team. I can't imagine seeing less and less of the huz as we try to split our schedules to still have someone at the hospital as much as possible. I am trying to muster the motivation to return to a job that I truly love, but is the last place on earth that I want to be right now. So, I have been thinking and trying to remember the real reasons I teach, besides for money, which is obviously a very minor reason, but the one that keeps popping into my mind. As I was doing some soul searching this evening in the shower, I kept thinking about Thomas and my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Francis.

Thomas and I went to elementary school together from kindergarten to sixth grade, and often ended up in the same class. Thomas had two major things working against him. First of all, since he was tiny he wore big, unstylish, thick glasses. Now, on their own I don't think the glasses would have been that big of deal, but he was also a nose picker/booger eater. I remember rumors in second or third grade that the walls in his house were covered in green patches from all the booger picking.

In fourth grade, Thomas continued with this bad habit, and was the subject of much teasing and ridicule. I remember taking part in the teasing, and I was a nice girl (although, I am not going to sound very nice). I often won awards for being a friend to everyone, and was the girl the teacher assigned to help out new or struggling students, so I can only imagine the bullying Thomas endured from the not so nice students. We played yuklaylees in class, and had to learn the song, "Kookaburra." There is a line in the song that goes, "Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, eating all the gum drops he can see..." However, we all sang it, "Thomas sits in the old booger tree, eating all the boogers he can see..." My fourth grade teacher was a lot of things (strange, out of touch, etc), but she was not compassionate. I don't know if she ever tried to stop the song or not, but I do remember, she told a story about eating her own boogers as a child, and throwing up green. All the story did was embarrass Thomas more, and make us all hate her more.

In fifth grade, Thomas brought some sort of food that required a spoon to eat for his state report (I did Massachusetts because I had been there before, and because that is where the New Kids on the Block were from.) Everyone was leery to eat the food he brought, but when he collected the plastic spoons back for his mom to wash and reuse, we were shocked that we had eaten on used spoons from his house. (Apparently Thomas' mom was green before green was cool.) Poor Thomas must have been miserable.

In sixth grade, I had Mrs. Francis. She was the first teacher who treated us like "adults" instead of little kids. She was fair, and kind, and treated everyone with respect. We all adored and admired her. Thomas' glasses broke one day, and he had to go without. I remember Mrs. Francis fussing over him, and telling us how handsome he looked without them. And because she was so respected, we all started to see Thomas as she saw him, rather than the way we had seen him for the last six years. He was handsome! He blushed a little, but I can still remember seeing his confidence grow as she built him up, rather than embarrassing him more like our fourth grade teacher had with her story.

So, one of the reasons I became a teacher is to be a champion of the underdog, and to model how to treat others with respect and dignity. It is a little cheesy, I know, but I love the chance to be a positive role model to a bunch of nine and ten year olds, and help build their confidence. I love seeing them grow and mature, and learn to work with others, despite their differences. I love building a community in my class that is based on kindness and mutual respect for one another. Thanks Mrs. Francis for showing me how it can be done!

A blog with two possible titles

Title 1: Ticket and Tears

I got pulled over today and received a ticket for speeding. This upset me terribly, like I was bawling my eyes out. Not so much that I got a ticket, because I was speeding, but how the cop was so unsympathetic. I took a new way from the hospital today, so I could stop and get Dalan and me some food on the way home (we had gone to the hospital in different cars.) I pulled onto a street and followed the truck in front of me for about six blocks, and then got pulled over. I had no idea what the speed limit was on that road, but figured I was speeding when I got pulled over. I apologized and explained to the officer that I was unfamiliar with the road and was just going with the flow of traffic. He told me that the truck in front of me was speeding as well, but that I was going slightly faster so I got the ticket. I also tried to explain that I had just come from the hospital and was having a rough time in general. He dismissed this, took my license, and wrote me up a ticket. I got very upset, and was crying. He ignored my tears (and these were real tears...I am sure he has seen his share of crocodile tears, but this was red in the face, I am truly upset tears) and explained my ticket. He never once asked if I was ok or if I was ok to drive. Grrrrr! I am sure he hears all kinds of excuses all the time, but I was pretty much a mess. A little sympathy and understanding would have gone along way. Makes me so mad.

Title 2: Marveling at the Mighty Quinn

On the upside of things I had a wonderful visit with Quinn and my parents last night. We had so much fun talking, laughing, and just marveling at the Mighty Quinn.

And I had a wonderful visit with VaRonica today. We both have been so busy, and it was nice to catch up. We had so much fun talking, laughing, and just marveling at the Mighty Quinn.

And I had a wonderful visit with my huz and babe today. It is always so relaxing and calming in the afternoons. We had so much fun talking, laughing, and just marveling at the Mighty Quinn.

And I get to meet up with my in laws tonight. I am sure we will have so much fun talking, laughing, and just marveling at the Mighty Quinn.

And now for some photographic evidence.....

Confused!

Did you know....

I still call Smith's Market Place....Fred Meyer?

I still call Big Lots....Pic N Save? Or if I think real hard I call it Mac Frugal's....never Big Lots.

I still think NBC is channel two, and CBS is channel 5, even though they switched like a billion years ago?

I am fairly intelligent person, who usually learns new things quickly, but there is something about those three things that totally confuses me. Weird.

What is right vs. what is convenient?

I am someone who is a planner and like to pride myself on making sound decisions. I like to weigh my options, research and read about my options, think about the consequences, make a decision, and execute said plan. I am rarely impulsive, and have pretty much planned out all my major life events. What can I say? I like it this way. I like to set goals and achieve them.

However, I do sometimes have a hard time make the "right" choice when there is a more convenient option available, even when I have all the information in front of me. I don't consider myself a lazy person, but sometimes I take the easy way out. Let me give some examples.

I will eat fast food, because it is convenient when I know that food prepared at home is generally healthier and more balanced. But, I don't enjoy the time it takes to make a meal, or the clean up that follows.

I will eat something out of the freezer or out of a box, rather than preparing a fresh meal is almost always better for you. Again, if I am going to cook, I want it to be easy.

I will use a paper towel or a Clorox Wipe to clean up a mess, rather than getting a rag or a sponge, even though I know it is more environmental sound to not use products that are one time use.

I will watch hours of a Law and Order marathon because it is easy and mindless, but it takes every fiber of my being to motivate myself to exercise, because it is not enjoyable, and then I am all sweaty and have to shower.

So, how do you make a "good" choice when a more convenient and appealing choice is in front of you?

NaBloPoMo

Apparently, November is NaBloPoMo or National Blog Posting Month. It is basically a challenge to post a new blog everyday for a month. I am kind of ambivalent about whether or not I want to commit to even trying this, but it has a funny name and I love a challenge. Also, it is getting colder and colder, and darker and darker earlier, so I should have some time on my hands, because I am sure as hell not going outside on the regular.

Have you seen the trailers for The Box with Cameron Diaz? It is some creepy movie about a family being offered a million dollars if they push a button in a box that will kill someone they don't know somewhere in the world. There is more to the movie from what I can tell on the previews, including some nasty consequences. Anyway, Dalan claims* he might do it, but maybe not for a measly million, he thinks he would need like 20 million to do it. I would not do it for any amount of money. I could not deal with the guilt. So, would you do it? And if not kill some anonymous person for a million bucks, what would you do for million?


*I don't think Dalan would do it for any amount of money either. He likes to talk like he is all tough and lacks empathy, but he is the biggest softy ever. Often times, he has to remind me to be kind and think of others, so it is doubtful he would ever do something with such dire consequences for any amount of money.

The time Ali and McKay stole a dog

Once upon a time in a land known as McKay's neighborhood, Ali and McKay found a dog. It was about two or three houses down from McKay's house. The dog was alone. It appeared to skinny and dirty, but was friendly. Ali and McKay "rescued" this dog from the street by taking it to Red and Patti's (my parents) house. The dog did have a collar, but no tag identifying it, only a tag that stated it had had its rabies' shot, and a number.

Well, it was the weekend, and if I remember right it was holiday weekend on top of all of it. Ali and my mom tried to call the Humane Society and Animal Control several times to see if someone had reported the dog as lost, or if it was identifiable by the number on its vaccine tag. However, due to the fact it was the weekend, and some other mix up's with the people at the shelters, it took about three days to figure out where this dog belonged. In the meantime, Ali, McKay, and my family continue to grow more fond of the dog. It is still friendly enough, but prefers to be outside most of the time.

Turns out the dog lives about three houses away from McKay. Ali and McKay basically took this dog from its OWN front yard, give or take a house or two, brought it to my parents' house, and held it hostage for three days. Their hearts were in the right places, but the poor dog was clearly in the wrong place at the wrong time, i.e. it's own front yard without a human while Ali and McKay were on the prowl. The owner was happy to get the dog back, and I guess it was an outside dog thus explaining the dirtiness and the preference for the backyard at my parents' house. All ends that ends well, right? However, you may want to make sure you clearly identify your pets as your own while in the presence of Ali and McKay, because otherwise, they may steal it from your front yard.

In the year 2005

I looked at myspace for the first time in months tonight. I go there from time to time to spy on people that do not have facebook. Anyway, I had a little mini-blog on there, so I read through it. It was fun to read what was going on in my life four years ago. I had just moved back in with my parents, things were getting more serious with Dalan, and I was notorious for losing my keys. I was so frustrated with myself for totally losing my keys yet again. I will assure you that I think that is that last time I lost my keys. However, it was not the last time I locked my keys in the car....that happened a few months ago.

9/8/05

Well, as some of you know, I was born with a brain defect....I do not have the ability to keep track of keys, and unfortunately this week, my disability has acted up again. I have lost my keys. I last had them Monday morning at approx. 2:45 am, and now nothing.

I have no keys. I am using my spare to drive my car, but the rest are gone. Luckily, I had no house key, because my parents don't trust me (with good reason) with keys. I am suppose to house sit for my friends this weekend, and their house key is gone.....I am the worse house sitter ever. Now I need to take an extended lunch break and get a spare key from them.

My entire family or roommates if you will, have spent the evening searching for the damn things, but to no avail. We even reenacted the night the keys were last seen, but still they remain at large.

9/28/05

Well kids, I found my keys. They were in the bin where I keep all my flip flops....obviously...I don't know why I didn't look there weeks ago. They were found on Saturday. Today, I go to work. I was charging my ipod in the car and then had the extra stress of putting the ipod in my purse so it wouldn't get stolen. So I work a long 8 hour day. I go to leave work...no keys. I thought I was going cry! I screamed to the the heavens above, "dear god, how could this be happening again." I find my keys on the driver's seat of my car. I had to call my roommates (aka parents) to bring my nub (my nickname for my trusty spare key). I now know without a doubt in my mind that I am missing the part of my brain that keeps track of keys.

Should have followed directions

Ali found these instructions on how to make easy cotton skirts forever ago, and we have been meaning to get together and make them, but have never made the time. So, before I go back to work, and Ali goes back to school we decided to just do it already. Ali came over with her sewing machine, and off we went to pick out fabric.

The instructions said to measure your waist and then get double or triple the amount of fabric. We went with double, and after we sewed the back seam together it looked like we could hula hoop in the amount of fabric we had around our middle section. The instructions and the amount of fabric we had just were not making sense to me, so I decided to ditch the instructions and go off on my own, after all, I have made our Halloween costumes for the last several years just from the ideas in my head, why would my visions of my new skirt not work too? So, I reduced my fabric to about 2/3's of what I originally had, and started sewing, all while Ali diligently kept to the plan the instructions laid out.



Then I started having trouble with my sewing machine. It is the problem I have with the bobbin from time to time, and I have always blamed my sewing machine for the errors. However, tonight after getting frustrated with my machine, I went to use Ali's and had the same problem. A problem she has never had. Apparently, it is one hundred percent a user/Jessi error. So, the stitching on my skirt turned out to be super sketchy, and due to my not following the steps in the correct order, next to impossible to stitch up over the elastic. It is does not flow the same way as Ali's due to my fabric reduction. It looks super frumpy.


The moral of the story, follow the directions and you get a cute and wearable product. If you don't follow the directions and sew like a blind little monkey, you get a piece of garbage skirt. Oh well, we did have fun, and bless Ali's heart, she really did try to save my hopeless little skirt. However, after showing Dalan and my parents, it truly is going into the trash.

I did this to myself

I am pretty sure I have the stones again, kidney stones, that is. Last week, I binged a little on caffeinated beverages. I went to a training for two days that included breakfast, and lunch, and figured they would have bottled water as a beverage choice, and did not bring a water bottle. They didn't, so I drank Diet Coke both days. I could have surely brought water with me both days, or at the very least, the second day, but alas, I did not. Later in the week, I went shopping with my mom and Ali, and we stopped and got iced coffees. I could have gotten a non-caffeinated beverage, but alas, I did not. Over these days, I could have doubled up on my water consumption to balance out all the caffeine, but alas, I did not.

Therefore, last Thursday night into Friday morning, I had one of my "attacks" in which I am woken up in the middle of the night from immense pain, and feel toxic. (One sign of the stones.) Then for the entire weekend, I had to pee and pee and pee. (Another sign of the stones.) Last night, I was woken up throughout the night with intense back pain. (Another sign of the stones.) At first, in my sleepy state I thought I had been sleeping wrong, but eventually it became clear, it was that old familiar pain of the stones. Today, I felt just ill and tired, (Yet another sign of the stones.)

I know I did this to myself. I tested the boundaries and lost big time. I have hit the water and lemonade hard today, so here is to hoping I pass the stone with no further pain or misery.

Triggers to a relapse

I have been off the Diet Coke for three months now, with a few exceptions. It has been easier than I thought it would be, except for on Wednesdays. Today was no exception. It was a long day, and I started craving a diet coke by lunch time, and by the time I went to class I wanted one so bad. I drove to 7-Eleven, and had to use all my will power to buy a Sprite instead of the precious. On my way home, I stopped at Wendy's and the man thought I ordered a Diet Coke instead of a Sprite. All I could think, is dude, someone wants me to drink a Diet Coke. I can now understand how a drug addict or an alcoholic justifies using again if there are continual "signs" and "reasons" to do so. However, I stayed strong, and corrected the gentleman.

My mom bought me this kick ass shirt after I refrained for a month, and I feel like I need to stay true to its message, "I'm off Diet Coke." Here are some pictures of my shirt, since I finally found my USB cord.

Diet Coke Watch Day 14

I have not had a diet coke for 14 straight days, and I have hated every minute of it. Although, I will admit the last two days have not been as bad as some of the previous days. I even refrained when all my friends were having diet cokes and rum at our Christmas party last weekend. I vow to remain diet coke free until the year's end, because Patti is going to buy me this shirt if I continue to abstain. And then I plan on starting to drink it again, but in moderation and with a healthy balance of water and lemonade. I know, I know....I sound just like any other addict. "I can be diet coke (alcohol, heroin, etc) free when I want , I did it for a month once. " Or, "I can handle it this time, I just will drink it socially." I have heard them all before during my glorious six plus years at ARTEC, and we called them thinking errors. But c'mon it is only a little diet coke, what's the harm?