This week two different articles were posted from the Huffington Post on Facebook by two different friends on two different topics, but both articles were very powerful and written by two moms.
The first article,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-morrison/motherhood_b_2271349.html
discusses what is like to be a mom in 2012, including the pressure to be a well trained mommy machine. There is a feeling that if you are not constantly overachieving, you are failing your children. And the pressure that people will know you are failing based on your Facebook, blog, Instagram, twitter, etc posts. After reposted this article, it was shared and commented on by so many of my friends, that it was instantly clear that my peers are all feeling pressure to not only raise great kids, but make sure we bedazzle everything along the way, and that is hard.
I am guilty of this all the time. In fact, I complained to Dalan during our March of Dimes fundraiser that we had to be a top ten team again or Quinn wouldn't know that we loved her. I was only half kidding. Dalan had to remind me of the real reason we do the fundraiser, and it has nothing to do with being the best at collecting money. This year I also set out to do a chocolate advent calendar, an activity advent calendar, and have Raul visit us everyday. Not to be overachieving, but because I love Christmas and it sounded fun to do all that stuff. First of all, it was hard to get to get to each day, and secondly, Quinn truly only cares about her "chocolate chart". Raul has decided to retire to the tree for the rest of the season, and we are still doing fun activities, but at a slower, whatever is most convenient pace. I have been reminded that kids don't need a lot of activities, they just need one or two that they like.
The second article,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html
discusses the need for services and support for children and their families suffering from mental illness in the wake of the school shooting in Conn. on Friday. This article is written by a mother who is struggling with a mentally ill teenage son who is becoming increasingly combative, and her only choice to get him help is basically to criminalize him. I read a lot yesterday on Facebook about gun control, and needing more security in schools, and admittedly got sucked into a silly argument with someone I didn't even know. But when people want to know where to start, here is a starting point, spending money to support kids with mental health issues and their families before they ever get to the point of hurting themselves or others. I have worked both in public mental health and in the public school services, and in my opinion, this article is right on, and it is a starting point. Maybe we can't take all the guns away, and maybe we can't make the schools safe, but we can help the people who need it- the kids, and their families. And ultimately, take away the desire for the kids to want guns, or to hurt other people.
Christmas (from a religious view point) is about remembering a mother and her miraculous birth one night in a stable. Maybe, we can use the Christmas season to support the mothers in our lives, because everyone is struggling with something,
3 comments:
Great post Jessi.
Article 1. I think that this applies not to just being a mother, but a women in general. With social media I think there can be a lot of pressure to be good at everything.
2. I saw the discussion you were sucked into on FB and I had to laugh when you were correcting the spelling of those arguing with you. The whole "gun control" debate has become so polarized. I got into a similar discussion with someone at work (I am somewhere in the middle...I think there needs to be stronger regulation so that people with mental illness have little chance of getting guns.) She brought up the 22 children in China who were stabbed and how it happens everywhere, and I brought up the fact that none of them died. The discussion ended with her only being more worked up about the fear of her guns being taken away (not what I want anyway, but what she thinks the current government is planning) and I walked away sick to my stomach realizing that fear of "gun control" was on her mind more than finding a way to prevent mass shootings, or worse, copycats that seem to soon follow after news stories like these. So sad.
Well shoot. I didn't get to see your argument on FB, and with the new timeline, stalking is harder than ever! :)
Article one resonated with me so much. Thanks for posting, it's not only reassuring to know that so many people feel this way, but also to be able to step back and remind myself that I'm certainly not failing as a mother.
I also really thought that article showed an important perspective, and and I am happy this article went viral...just hope people took it to heart.
I'm a big fan of the Huffington Post this week. I want the job of reading people's blogs and finding these great articles!
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