I want my (reality) t.v.

My top picks for reality t.v. shows right now....

1. The Amazing Race- Always one of my favorites. I dream of participating in the race one day. Dalan always blamed my diet coke addiction as a reason I could not be on the show, but now that the monkey is off my back, I see no reason to not go forward with the plan! Plus Phil is so sexy, I would take any opportunity to race back to him and his accent each and every week. This out of all the shows I am about the review, is probably the most legitimate and least trashy, but it is still exciting and worth watching.

2. The Real World: Brooklyn- I used to be the biggest Real World fan ever! I love me some Eric Nies. Then it became lame. It was a bunch of way too skinny people getting drunk and hooking up every week, so I stopped watching. This season, however, when I found out there was a post-op. transsexual and a non-aware gay Mormon from Utah on the show, I was totally all over it. There is still a lot of lame drama, but I love how the transsexual really thought people could not instantly tell she used to be a dude. I also love how Chet, the LDS guy, wears purple pashimas, leggings, and pastel boots, plus makes "just kidding" comments about other guys being cute, but swears up and down that he is not a homosexual. If you have not watched it this season, I suggest doing so.

3. Toddlers and Tiaras- This is a show that features moms and their children that participate in the exciting world of beauty pageants. The show usually showcases two moms that are crazy and obsessive about pageants, and one pretty chill/normal mother. You get to marvel at all the money spent for one pageant, and be shocked at the spray tanning, false eyelashes, and fake teeth that put into their child's mouth, because it is so better that your six year old be tan with a set of an adult teeth than to look like a regular six year old. This is one I would not have thought I would have loved, but it kind of caught me by surprise and I am enjoying it.

4. Rupaul's Drag Race- To be fair, I have only seen this once, but you all know, I love me some drag queens. The make-up, the costumes, and the drama are all fabulous. When I catch this show again, I will watch it fo' sho'.

5. Celebrity Rehab. Sober House- I have learned that when celebrities are trying to get sober that are just as bratty and obnoxious as the kids were at ARTEC, just with access to cooler parties. Just like at ARTEC, there are some people who really want to be sober, and are really trying, and there are some people who want to be sober, but don't have the tools yet. And then there are the people who just don't give an eff and will do what they want when they want, and then expect other people to pick up the pieces and come to the rescue time and time again. I don't know if I would like this so much if I had not worked in a rehab for seven years, but it is something I will watch if I come across it.

6. Jon and Kate plus 8- I started watching it, because who doesn't love six adorable babies, plus the freak show that goes alon with having them all at the same time. I can barely stand to watch it anymore, because Kate is such a controlling and mean person. Yet, I can't look away. I have to watch it every week to have something else to gossip and critique with my peeps who also watch it.

7. The Jessi and Dalan Show- Ok, I obviously made this one up, but I would love to have our own little show. It would be so boring that I think it would work. Plus we have already made up our theme song! The episodes could be things like this week on The Jessi and Dalan Show, Dalan and Jessi go to Chili's for a quesidilla explosion salad. Or this week on The Jessi and Dalan Show, Jessi plans Dalan's 30th birthday party. Or this week on The Jessi and Dalan Show, Jessi thinks she left her flat iron plugged in again, and makes Dalan, get out of the car, go back inside, and make sure it is off. We could even have those very special episodes of The Jessi and Dalan Show in which we teach the kids a lesson, like Jessi teaches why it is important to not put your phone charger on your tongue.