Ingredients:
2 hungry parents
1 Chili's gift card
1 strong-willed and spirited 13 month old.
A dash of embarrassment
A dash of amusement
Steps:
1. Put the 13 month old into the high chair. She should insisted on licking the table. The more the you move her away or put your hand in the way, she should get louder and more upset.
2. Move the 13 month old so far away from the table, that she can't lick it at all. She should then start to escape from the high chair. This will include leaning over, and using all 16 pounds of herself to propel up and out of the chair.
3. Take the 13 month old out of the highchair for her safety. Whisper in her ear that she needs to be calm, and have positive behavior. She will scream in rebellion every time. This will make the mom giggle. She can't help herself.
4. The dad will take the 13 month old for a walk, and to get some puffs from the car. The 13 month old will return in a calm mood. The dad should keep giving the baby puffs. She loves them. She is quiet. The parents start to eat their food.
5. The 13 month old should now gag on a puff. The 13 month old should ideally have a very sensitive gag reflex. Because of her said reflex, the 13 month old will now spit up all over herself, her dad's leg, and most importantly, Chili's floor.
6. The mom will rush over and try to clean up the dad and the 13 month old with baby wipes. The spit up will be dripping down the dad's leg.
7. Dad will take the 13 month old back to the car.
8. Mom will clean up spit up from the Chili's floor. Best to not attract too much attention to yourself.
9. Get two to go boxes, and pay the bill as quickly as possible.
10. Finish dinner at home after the 13 month old and dad have had a chance to clean up. Eat outside. Noise and other bodily fluids don't hurt anything when you are outside. The finished product will look something like this....
Important to note: The recipe really won't work without this key ingredient. No substitutions!
5 comments:
HAHAHA! Love it. WE've made very similar recipes. In fact, we are mostly finished cooking for now. We've been done since Isaac was about Quinn's age, in fact! :)
Too funny! Love Quinner's picture at the end of it all.
Our recipe included Giordano's pizza in Chicago, several laps around the restaurant while our pizza baked, socks that kept falling off, and toys thrown on the floor. We ultimately had dinner on our hotel room bed. Glad it's not just us!
I dread taking my kids out for meals. It's just always awful .. lol. We avoid it whenever possible.
I loved this, sounds like us everytime we go out. The other day, Zach and I were talking while eating out, and Zach said, if only we could get Stella to sit in a highchair through a whole meal, that has yet to happen. The joys of parenthood. :)
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